Burn - Forever 21 Ruffle Wave Top

I wasn't going to post anything today cause i just got home and i'm recovering from cafeteria food etc but this one i couldnt let slide. didnt anyone notice that this top started transforming into a werewolf while they were photographing it? The explosion of ruffles give the effect of chest and shoulder hair! get that waxed asap, honey, it's resort season and chest hair doesnt go with your bikini! And why are new tops still being made with the built-in skirt? my theory is it's to accommodate those few brainwashed girls who love skirts over jeans. this way they get what they want but nobody can say anything because hey, it's part of my "top"! Another theory is that they had ugly brown dresses overstocked that they couldnt sell so they chopped them up and went frankenstein on some unfortunate basic black tees. also comes in grey with black fabric explosion on it.

Store: Forever 21
Price: $32.00
Link: Ruffle Wave Top

Burn - American Apparel Nylon Tricot Suspender Swimsuit

Borat anyone? Are you supposed to wear it like this or with a bikini top under it? I dont know why a woman is modeling this as clearly it is not made for women. I have reached this conclusion because women have breasts that dont stay in one place under thin strips of bathing suit but perhaps the point of this suit is to have more nip-slips in the future. can you imagine the bizarre tan-lines? Why pay $36 for this when ebay has borat mankinis for $5? (i'm serious look) ok, hipsters, you can attack me now. i'm ready and waiting.

Store: American Apparel
Price: $36.00
Link: Nylon Tricot Suspender Swimsuit

Burn - Forever 21 Pintucked Bow Chiffon Dress

Oh grandma's gonna be mad when she sees you jacked her nightgown and made it the length of a teddy. You got some gigantic panties to go with that? Better walk and sit very carefully so i don't see them and lose my lunch. I bet if you spun around in this, you;d find the hemline up at bra level. This reminds me of something worn by one of those 99 cent drugstore dolls that you sometimes have to buy as a last-minute present for some kid's birthday. Except over 20 times more expensive. Also is that camo green trim i see or is it a trick of the light. If it really is camo, I wonder who was like "oh here's an idea, let's throw some camo on there to really mix it up!" This has to be a joke. I bet the designers watch on security camera as people buy these fugly dresses just laughing their asses off.

Store: Forever 21
Price: $22.80
Link: Pintucked Bow Chiffon Dress

Burn - Forever 21 Abstract Art Dress

We almost didn't survive the first toddler attack and here's another one already. This actually makes me sentimental for the doodles i did on the wall with crayons. Maybe it's a paint by numbers dress and you paint your own alien bug or family of bugs seeing as how there's one on the back too. I wonder if all the dresses have that same design or if it's all random, done by a bored employee in the storage room. Seriously why would anyone pay $32.00 for this when they could just buy a white sack and draw on it themselves? I hope somebody was fired over this design.

Store: Forever 21
Price: $32.00
Link: Abstract Art Dress

Love - Stanton James One Shoulder Dress

If finals kills me, I want to be buried in this and some cream colored louboutins. Perhaps these.

It is a little pricey (oh and i'm not even gonna list the price of those pumps on here but hey, a girl can dream) but this dress is worth it. Sometimes you gotta go all out and if you're investing a good chunk of change in a dress you want something that isn't gonna go out of style.

Store: Stanton James
Price: $390.00
Link: Mirit Weinstock One Shoulder Dress
Link to the Louboutins if you're curious: Studded Slingback Pumps

Love - Stanton James Backless Holiday Mini

Should be studying for finals but i just had to post this little number. This slinky little dress is not exactly suited for the ongoing blizzard on the east coast but hey if i had this dress, i'd stay inside all day just to wear it. It skims over the body leaving a sweet feminine silhouette. The back is just tdf. My only question is what about a bra? Guess you'd have to stick to pasties.

Store: Stanton James
Price: $90
Link: For Love & Lemons Backless Holiday Mini in Gold & Cream With Chain Back

Burn - Forever 21 Fringe Chain Blurred Top

Is this a top or a Rorschach test? I'm serious cause i think i see a face in profile on the left butt cheek and i want to know what that says about my psyche. Was it black and you had an accident with bleach or was it white and a bunch of pens exploded on you? Why is the front pattern symmetric and the back isn't? Did they run out of the pattern with the face at butt-level cause that was in such high demand? At least you know if you wore this out and spilled something on yourself, it'd be impossible to notice. Comes with a built-in fringe chain in front so it's easy to hook on a coat hanger when you're home or detach it and use it as a cat toy!

Store: Forever 21
Price: $17.80
Link: Fringe Chain Blurred Top

Burn - Forever 21 Bright Leopard Top

WHOA I hope the mother of the toddler who attacked you with finger paint is gonna pay for the dry cleaning! No but seriously, leopards are offended to be associated with this top and are calling their lawyers. It's hard enough to make animal print tasteful without bringing neon colors into the equation. Then you add the capped sleeves that'll make it look like your upper arms are about to take a shower and don't want their hair getting wet and add maternity-style elasticized waist? I wouldn't even let an enemy leave the house in this.

Store: Forever 21
Price: $29.00
Link: Bright Leopard Top

Love - Urban Outfitters Crepe Chiffon Dress

This dress is perfection! The color would look great on any skin tone. It's ethereal and feminine like something you should wear to ride a unicorn in the forest at night. The bust and waist are very accommodating as the bust looks good roomy or full and i believe the waist is elasticized. The studs around the bottom keep it up to date. I picked this dress out for my sister but now I'm wishing I'd kept it for myself.

Store: Urban Outfitters
Price: $68.00
Link: Lucca Couture Crepe Chiffon Dress

Love - Forever 21 Iridescent Sequin Knit Top

OOOOH this top is so cute. It looks like an electro music album cover. I'd wear this to a concert with some skinny jeans and comfy flat boots. I love all the different sequins!

Store: Forever 21
Price: $17.80
Link: Iridescent Sequin Knit Top

Burn - Forever 21 Sheer Satin Petal Top

Where to even begin? The color makes even the mannequins skin look pallid. The shape is reminiscent of a grandma's nightgown. At least you don't have to worry about the latest cute necklaces, this comes with such a huge ruffly queen of england neck and sleeves, you can leave all your accessories at home.

Store: Forever 21
Price: $36.00
Link: Sheer Satin Petal Top

Burn - Forever 21 Embroidered Tunic

Part upholstery, part tablecloth, part lampshade, here we have a poncho-looking dress that's so ugly not even ugly betty in season 1 would wear it. Grandma called, she wants her old blanket back! I'd like to talk about the shape it'll give your body but there isn't one to talk about. In fact, it'll be hard to distinguish your arms from your torso.

Store: Forever 21
Price: $29.80
Link: Embroidered Tunic

Burn - Forever 21 Origami Satin Dress

Today it's like forever 21 posts a new faux-pas every time i re-load the page. This dress seems to suffer from multiple personality disorder. Above the waist, it's a business woman. Below the waist, it's like a cheap prom dress. I dont even know what's going on at the shoulders. I understand the need to work hard, play hard but no need to have a dress that is a battlefield between the two.

Store: Forever 21
Price: $39.00
Link: Origami Satin Dress

Burn - Forever 21 Petal Tier Top

It's a chinchilla! It's a hedgehog! No, it's a new top from Forever 21. How can a store with such cute things produce something so nightmarish? This top would only be useful if it were turned into a pillowcase. In fact, I think that's the only place I've seen anything like this. Why doesn't it go to the back, you may ask. My theory is that if you are sitting at a bar, someone coming up behind you would think you were just wearing something normal but when they come up to buy you a drink, they get taken by surprise. Ambushed by the ruffles. Also, this top is twice the price of most tops from Forever 21. I guess price increases with added volume to your waistline?

Store: Forever 21
Price: $38.00
Link: Petal Tier Top

Burn - Forever 21 Striped Knit Peplum Dress

Whoa. It's like an optical illusion! All those stripes all over the place are making me dizzy. Getting down to the shape, the bust like is ok and the skirt part too but what is with the ruffled waist thing? Why not just wear an inner tube around your hips? This would give any woman a bottom-heavy form. I guess they tried to balance this out with the shoulder pads. I know this is a trend now and blah blah lady gaga blah blah but if I wanted to look like a linebacker, I'd get shoulder implants or go to the gym or something.

Store: Forever21
Price: $24.80
Link: Striped Knit Peplum Dress

Burn - Forever 21 Satin Overlay Tee Shirt

When we first saw this top, my friend Liz and I were confused. Is it a gray t-shirt? is it a pink satin-y scalloped tube top? Then we saw the back. I think this piece speaks for itself and it is saying "Tacky!"

Store: Forever 21
Price: $24.00
Link: Satin Overlay Tee Shirt

Love - Charlotte Russe Pleated A-Line Dress

Classic and classy. Although this may not work for the larger-chested girls out there, it gives a feminine silhouette and classic lbd style. The pleating in front will help out those who want to emphasize their busts and the high waist will let the dress skim over any love handles. the length is also perfect to show off those legs.

Store: Charlotte Russe
Price: $26.99
Link: Pleated A-Line Dress