Burn - Forever 21 Layered Contrast Skirt

This would be funny if it weren't so tragic! I feel sorry for the clothes that have to be on the rack next to this Frankenstein's creation. Well if I die before my time in some tragic accident, you know you can reanimate me by dressing me in this because I would come back to life just to burn it. I can almost make out a resemblance in the blue part to those obnoxious pleated miniskirts of almost a decade ago but then why is there a tutu under it? There are questions that should be asked at Forever 21 before designs hit the rack. Questions like "is this hideous?" and if the answer is, in fact, "yes" then do us all a favor and save the resources for something cute. Thank you.

Store: Forever 21
Price: $28.00
Link: Layered Contrast Skirt

Bonfire - Forever 21 Tops Part 3

Beauuuutiful soup, so rich and green, souuuup of the evening (Alice in Wonderland reference: Mock turtle's song about mock turtle soup.)
Link: Lace Bow Trim Tee
It's not halloween for another year, why would I buy a slutty cowgirl shirt?
Link: Grommet Trim Cropped Tee
Oh hello! Check out my edgy daring new top! And my boob.
Link: Slanted Mesh Knit Top
Oh this? Just something I threw on. While dumpster-diving.
Link: Vested Sublimation Tank
Tarzan and Jane get 9-to-5s.
Link: Abstract Woven Tunic

Bonfire - Forever 21 Tops Part 2

For big-collar fans everywhere! Hooray for boob-minimizing and bozo the clown maximizing! Cue the circus music, if you please.
Link: Contrast Collar Top
You will attract unwanted attention from birds looking for a mate.
Link: Feather Trim Knit Top
The neck and shoulders on this are straight from one of those nerdy outer space tv shows. Take me to your LEADER!
Link: Upper Mesh Chiffon Top
Seems to be a recurring forever 21 train wreck...
Link: Lace Bow Front Tank

OK this is cute but let's keep it PG-13 here people!
Link: Metallic Crane Scene Top

Bonfire - Forever 21 Tops

Introducing the bonfire: where I'll suggest burning so many items, you could make a bonfire out of them and roast marshmallows in the flames. Here we go.

Is this even a style?
Link: Pearl Belted Top

Ewww it's see-through and what's with all of the added details and frills? It's like an over-decorated cake.
Link: Ruffle Sleeve Top

Upholstery, upholstery, upholstery. That is all.
Link: H81 Paisley Print Top

Do I really need to explain what's wrong here?
Link: Lace Bow Front Top

If this gives a mannequin a spare tire imagine what it'd do to a real human. Plus, mesh? Really? Go back to the 90s and stay there.
Link: Sheer Mock Neck Sweater

Burn - Forever 21 Ruffle Trim Dress

Trapeze dresses belong in the circus. I feel like I'm stating the obvious but apparently not if forever 21 is churning these out. I have the overwhelming urge to say "jack be nimble jack be quick jack jump over the candle stick" because that is the shape this dress gives you: cylindrical. Like a bolster pillow. With ruffles. GAK!

Store: Forever 21
Price: $39.00
Link: Ruffle Trim Dress

Burn - Forever 21 Wide Tie Belt Dress

Another deceiving dress from forever 21. It looks like she has tied a matching sweater around her waist but that is just part of the dress! On the bright side, if for some reason you like the sweater-around-the-waist-just-like-grandma look, this dress still gives you that effect in front but leaves your butt out to be admired from behind. There's also room for your just-like-grandma fanny pack. Or if you have parents like mine who want you to bring a sweater everywhere, you can probably fool them if you keep your back to the wall. Well, when we have nuclear war and stat growing four arms, the four sleeves will def come in handy.

Store: Forever 21
Price: $32.80
Link: Wide Tie Belt Dress